


Lifeline

by Merced_0411



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Kabby, Love, One Shot, Season/Series 05, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 08:36:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17280719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merced_0411/pseuds/Merced_0411
Summary: Set during the events of 5 x 02.





	Lifeline

As they slowly made their way down the cold and dimly lit corridor, Abby took solace in the warmth that radiated from Marcus's hand. She felt as if she were teetering on the edge of an abyss, and that if she were to let go, she would be lost forever. Yet somehow, even in the midst of Hell, _he_ was able to keep her anchored, _to offer her hope._

Marcus stopped at the last door at the end of the hallway. “Octavia gave each of the ambassadors a private quarter. We’ll be safe here.”

 _Safe_. Why should _she_ be safe when Clarke was out there? Why should _she_ live when so many others had to die? What made _her_ life more valuable than the grounder in Becca’s lab or Kara's husband? Marcus was right. She _didn't_ feel that she deserved what they had. It had taken her being handcuffed and locked in a room with him to admit that she would have done the same thing. She would have opened those damn doors a thousand times even knowing the consequences of her actions.

As Abby followed Marcus into the room she quickly took note of the floorplan. Small, but functional. There was a bed, a dresser, and a small desk with the lamp. She also noted that the room had its own ensuite bathroom. She couldn't help but remember the countless baths they shared during those nine blissful days in Polis. They were either in the bed or in the tub. It all seemed like a lifetime ago and of course that room no longer existed.

Marcus gently placed his hand on her shoulder, the heat of his breath on her neck sent fire coursing through her veins.  _How_ _long_ _had_ _it_ _been?_ She slowly turned to face her lover, the man she had dared to fall in love with. He tenderly cupped her face in his hands, his fingertips softly caressing her cheeks. Abby caught a glimpse of her reflection as she gazed into his deep brown eyes. _How_ could he regard her with so much love and reverence even after all she had done.  Abby desired nothing more than to feel his lips on hers, to complete the kiss that had almost come to pass, but instead pulled away.

“Marcus, I - I need to freshen up. May I?” Abby winced at the sound of her voice, which had been reduced to a hoarse whisper. Torn, broken, an audible representation of her shattered soul.

He looked at her as if he wanted to say more, but only nodded, respectfully lowering his hands to his side. “Yes, of course.”

Abby immediately felt the loss of his touch, as she turned and walked toward the adjacent room. Closing the door behind her, she slowly reached into the bag she had been carrying on her shoulder. She would make sure to thank Jackson later for finding her bag amongst all the chaos that had ensued. Her deft fingers quickly found what they had been searching for. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she carefully opened the small cylindrical bottle. Abby placed a single pill on her tongue letting the bitter taste fill her mouth. The ice bath had cured her brain but it did nothing for the unrelenting anguish that she felt every conscious moment- _the_ _pills_ _took_ _care_ _of_ _that_. The pills allowed her to go through the motions, to function as a doctor. And as a doctor, she was fully cognizant of the fact that what she was doing was wrong, and yet she couldn't stop. _And_ _she_ _hated_ _herself_ _for_ _it_. The pills were the only thing that could hold the demons at bay, the only thing that could keep the the horrific images from haunting her whilst awake. She _knew_ Marcus loved her, but love was not enough. Her past was _her_ burden to carry, _her_ cross to bear. And as much as he wished otherwise, he could not carry it for her. “ _Salvation_ _comes_ _at_ _a_ _price_ ,” she thought sadly. Those were _his_ words.

She finally pushed the pill to the back of her throat and swallowed. Within 15 minutes it would make its way through her esophagus to her stomach where its contents would then be dispersed into her bloodstream. She closed her eyes, and waited. The moments felt like an eternity as she stood waiting for the relief that would soon come. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she felt repulsed by the woman staring back at her. Pale, clammy skin. Sunken cheeks. Hollow, empty eyes. Was that what she now looked like? An empty shell? Abby watched in horror as the skin from the woman in the mirror suddenly began to drip from its face, like wax from a candle.

Abby screamed, falling to her knees, and in an instant Marcus was kneeling by her side. As he cautiously wrapped his arms around her, she pressed her face against his chest. He held her silently as she wept. She wept for Jake, for Jaha… for Clarke. She couldn't save them. _Their_ _blood_ _was_ _on_ _her_ _hands_.

“ _Clarke_ is out there, and _I_ am in here. _I_ am her mother. _I_ should have sacrificed myself for _her_ , not the other way around.” Abby felt as if she were suffocating, each breath painful. She covered her face with her hands, the voices in her head screaming that she wasn't worthy. That she didn't deserve to be loved.  She didn't want him to see her this way, and yet the thought of spending another minute alone was unbearable.

“Abby, listen to me,” Marcus whispered, gently pulling her hands from her face,  tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “ _If_ Clarke is out there, she _will_ survive."

As she looked in his deep brown eyes she felt the intensity of his love. “How… How can you be so sure?"

“Because she is _your_ daughter.”

Before she could respond his mouth was on hers, and she reflexively parted her lips to deepen the kiss. Tentative at first, muscle memory quickly took over and their tongues resumed their familiar dance. Whether the high she felt was from the pill or from her body’s own natural endorphins, Abby did not know. She felt her body tremble with anticipation as Marcus gripped her hips tightly. 

Just as Abby was going to suggest that they fully take advantage of the shower behind them, there was an authoritative knock on the door. Marcus gave her an apologetic smile and walked quickly to the door. By the urgency of the knock it was understood that whoever was on the other side would not take kindly to be left waiting.

It was _Indra_.

“It is time. Osleya is ready to announce the punishment for the guilty. Your presence is… requested.” Indra’s voice was calm but there was unsettling undertone that made Abby's blood turn cold. _Osleya_ didn't make requests; she gave orders. “Where's Abby? She's not in medical. Jackson said she would be with you.”

Abby cleared her throat and stepped out of the bathroom. “Yes, I’m here.”

Indra glanced briefly from Marcus to Abby, realization as well as hint of embarrassment flashed across her eyes.  As a highly trained warrior, not much could escape her keen perception. Within seconds Indra’s face was once again perfectly stoic.

“Very well. I will expect you both in five minutes. Do _not_ make Osleya wait.” The message was clear. This was an order as well as a warning. And as quickly as Indra had arrived, she was gone.

Abby knew that the pacifying effects of the pill would soon bring the numbness she craved, but at this moment she felt afraid. If Indra was sending them a warning, then something was wrong. “What will happen to Kara… and the others?”

“I'm sure Octavia will be… reasonable. She wants peace amongst the clans.” Marcus placed a soft kiss on her forehead and reached for her hand which she gratefully accepted.

As they made their way back down the dark hallway, Abby felt a miniscule glimmer of hope. Most were lucky enough to find love once in a lifetime and yet somehow she had found it twice. Perhaps, just perhaps they _would_ be able to weather any storm... _together_.


End file.
